Timothy stared in amazement at the robot that just called itself Bob the guy who is cool. "B-Bob?" He gasped.
The robot’s lip-like buttons moved into a grin "Yep! That’s me!" it said. "Check it out! I’m pure awesome!"
Timothy stared at it. "Um, actually, you look like an old robot." He said.
The robot gasped "What? Give me a mirror!" It demanded.
Timothy looked around, and saw a full-length mirror in the corner, covered by a sheet. He dragged the mirror over to the robot. After a few moments of silence, the robot growled. "That- that... LIAR!" It screached, "He promised I was an even cooler looking dude!"
Timothy patted the robot’s front comfortingly. "There there, Bob. You’ll be fine as a slightly pathetic robot."
The robot narrowed its two slots that served as eyes. "I’m not pathetic! No matter what, I am cool!"
Timothy shrugged. "Um, so, how did you get this way?" He asked. The robot sighed and began his story.

"Well, it started about a year after I gave you away... I was DJ-ing at my favorite club and having a great time being cool. You now, showing off for the hundreds and bazillions of the adoring lady-type fans."
Timothy stifled a laugh.
The robot glared at him, but continued on with his story.
"Anyways, I then saw the most beautiful lady ever to grace the dance floors of New York City. She was with some greasy-looking nerd guy. I put on a record and walked over to them in my oh-so-very cool strut and asked what the girls name was.
She rolled her eyes and continued dancing. That got me mad, so I asked again. She continued to ignore me, so I directed my attention to the nerd.
‘Yo! What’s your name, dude?’ I asked him and he replied ‘I am Dr. Doctor’ In a very uncool and nerdy voice.
‘Oh yea? Well, I’m Bob! The Guy Who Is Cool!’ I told him, but he just laughed and said very loudly ‘You are SO not cool!’
I saw red and lunged at his neck.
Being the nerdy guy he was, he pulled out a very high-tech gun thing and aimed it at me! Everybody in the club started screaming and ran out to the exit.
The nerd’s girlfriend yelled "I told you to leave that in the lab!"
The nerd ignored her and began to put pressure on the trigger. The girl ran away, but I bravely stood my ground... Ok, I lied, I ran too. The nerd started shooting the clubbers with his gun, it was completely un-cool.
‘He’s killing people!’ Somebody screamed, pointing out the obvious.
After hiding behind the turn-tables for about ten minutes I knew enough was enough.

Bodies littered the ground and I was definitely not doing my godly duty, so I transformed into my superhero self-
Fred! The Guy Who Is Even Cooler Than Bob!
Now, Fred is truly what I call awesome, he wears a karate uniform and has long hair, like in those anime shows I watch every Tuesday... anyways, I pulled a karate pose and kicked the nerd in the face, breaking his coke-bottle glasses. Unfortunately, I injured my foot, and had to wait for the swelling to go down. While I hopped about on one foot, the nerd recovered and lunged at me. He kicked me in the stomach, and I blacked out.

I awoke to the sounds of a very nasal-sounding gloat. I opened my eyes and the nerd stood before me, saying that as payback for being so Fred-like and cool he was going to make me look even more cool! I was in such a daze that I immediately said OK. He put me back to sleep and began his operation. I woke up hours later, feeling very different, so I assumed that I was even cooler than before!
But, I guess I was mistaken. I have spent the last decade or so in this room, watching daytime television and developing my singing voice. Now you’re here and I can have a playmate!" he finished and grinned his button teeth.