Timothy had no idea where he was, he had no money, and had finished the last of the Slim Jims he found buried in the backseat of the cab. He sat down on the curb to catch his breath when a bum approached him.
“Hey kid, got a match?” The bum asked.
Timothy, who had never seen a bum before, scooted away slowly.
“Eek No I don’t have anything Back off- I know karate!” He lied and raised his fists.
The bum walked closer to him. “Don’t be scared, man, I just want a light for my cig...”
Timothy had no idea what the heck a “cig” was and was freaked out by this strange creature.
“I don’t have any!” He screamed.
The bum scowled and walked briskly away, “Nobody’s got a freakin’ match...” He grumbled.
Timothy picked up his bag and ran away, frightened that more of these things would approach him.

Timothy was still walking when he bumped into the world’s most beautiful woman ever. She was wearing a short red dress with a pink heart, knee length black boots and a necklace with a crystal heart. Her shoulder-length blonde hair was pulled back by sparkly hair clips. Timothy was smitten.
The woman glanced down at him and cried “Jonathan?”
Timothy stared at her in confusion, “Um, I’m not Jonathan, I’m Timothy Tosmall!" He exclaimed, using his made up last name.
The woman’s eyes welled up with tears.
“I’m sorry, I’m trying to find him right now...” she trailed off, and looked behind him with a desperate look on her face.
Timothy’s heart ached when he saw such a lovely woman so sad, “Who’s Jonathan?”
The lady sighed and gazed up into crystal blue sky.

“Jonathan is an actor, and so am I. We acted together in the soap opera Bonny and Waldo. He played a rich, handsome, yet unbelievably mean jerk named Jonathan, and I played a lovely lass names Susanna. We both have real names, but we forgot them. So my name’s Susanna, hi. Anyways, in the show we fall in love, but he ditches me for a rich llama breeder. And-and... just like the show, he left me for a dirty ol’ LLAMA BREEDER!” She wailed and fell to the ground, rocking on her ankles and muttering something about funny-looking stickmen.
Timothy watched in horror as the beautiful woman smeared her makeup and mussed up her hair. Then he got an idea.
“Hey I’ll help you find Jonathan if you adopt me” He grinned and gently placed his hand on her shoulder.
Susanna grimaced and quickly stood up, wiping her smeared mascara off with her hands and onto her dress.
“No thanks, I’ll manage without” she said and patted his head. “Now run along” She turned around and walked away, leaving Timothy all alone.